Lisa Ling, October, 2011, vol. 1, no. 23

I like to think I learned the meaning of tough a long time ago.  Being literally abandoned in the streets of Seoul on the day I was born introduced me to the significance of that word early on.  Spending six months in an orphanage then flying to the other side of the world to meet my new adoptive family in Montreal, I embarked on the next phase in my lesson on toughness.

My parents’ separation followed by my father’s sudden death when I was seven not only left me facing a new challenge but also left my mother, my brother and my two sisters in a very difficult situation.  Despite this, my mother was an amazing example of determination, strength and grit.  She worked extremely hard to raise her four children alone, moving from career to career, and never failing to provide for us.

Growing up the only non-white person in a rural Quebec town of 1,000 people made me even more thick-skinned but that was more out of necessity than by choice.  This environment led to the development of my paradoxical personality.  I felt I had to defend myself for being different by putting on the tough girl/tomboy act.  But I was also ashamed and embarrassed of what I was and felt the need to withdraw from others.

Trying to emulate my mother’s resilience, I left home at 17 to attend CEGEP and then university, surviving on scholarships, student loans, and part-time jobs.   After obtaining my bachelor’s degree, I moved to Ottawa alone to start a new chapter in my life as a shy, quiet and not so confident 22 year-old.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life but I hoped living in Ottawa would provide an auspicious beginning to my journey.

At that time I wasn’t in very good physical shape as I had quit the university rugby team and ended up spending half my time studying to keep my scholarships and the other half working to keep my apartment.  After a few years in Ottawa, I decided to take up rugby again but that held my interest for just over a year.  I can’t quite remember the exact moment when I had a flicker of the thought that I would love to try boxing but it was sometime in 2002 or 2003.  Something about hitting a bag as hard as you possibly could and the discipline required to excel in such a tough sport held a mysterious allure for me.  Discipline was always something I lacked in my teen and early adult years due to self-esteem issues and the nagging feeling of never quite belonging.

I decided to broaden my horizons and meet new people by joining the Ottawa Sport and Social Club.  I was soon playing flag football, softball, floor hockey and dodgeball which were all fun team sports, but my desire for something more intense, more meaningful didn’t go away.  As luck would have it, a football teammate mentioned her boxing training one night after our game in February 2005 and I immediately proceeded to grill her.  I had to know where, when, what was involved, how to sign up, every single detail about this training she was doing.  She emailed me the WBK website the next day and I signed up for Round 4 on the spot!  I was so excited, I was telling every person I knew, whether they cared to hear it or not!

To this day, I still remember walking through the Champ front doors, butterflies in my stomach, having no idea where to go, who to talk to, or what was in store.  After being led up the stairs to the gallery I suddenly felt intimidated by the circuit that lay before me but at this point there was no turning back; I had to see what this boxing thing was about!  When we were told to skip for two minutes as a warm-up, I thought “Piece of cake, no problem!”  After one minute of skipping, I was breathless and thought “Holy shit, I’m so out of shape!”  But I survived my first circuit and my first punch-out, and at the end it was all a blur but I had a huge smile on my face.  And I knew right there and then that this was the something I’d been looking for all those years.  This was a new kind of toughness that I had no doubt I wanted to embrace!

I managed to get through my first session and was brimming with pride when Chris told me I was picking up the skills quite well.  The first time I did 20 rounds (back when there were 10 stations instead of 12), I couldn’t believe how hard it was but I was thankful and thrilled that I was still standing afterward!  So I signed up for the next round, and the next round, and I began to set my sights on the higher levels.  I was filled with the desire to learn new and tougher skills.  I clearly recall standing in the waiting area one evening while the Level 5 class was finishing and being astounded by an athlete doing 360’s at the skipping station with incredible grace and ease.  I was in awe of his skill and endurance and I knew right away that I wanted to be THAT.  I wanted to be completely in control of the rope and of my body while all conscious thought disappeared; I wanted to be completely in the zone!

So I continued to progress through the levels and ultimately decided to train twice per week in Level 3.  That’s when I really felt the difference, both physically and mentally.  My self-confidence started to soar and the combinations and the skipping flowed more class after class.  Upon reaching Level 5, I knew I’d found the zone when the combinations came naturally and of their own accord.  At this point no thinking was necessary and my body moved with an intensity I didn’t realize was possible!  I felt great and ready to take on the next challenge so I mentioned my interest in coaching to Chris.  It was around this time that I realized the sense of pride and self-worth of being a WBK athlete allowed me to see myself as a mentally and physically strong person.  All the self-doubt and negative thoughts that had cluttered my mind for so long had finally dissolved with each drop of sweat that ran off my body during my years of training at WBK.

I knew coaching was going to be another demanding challenge but I was looking forward to it.  I grew up hating to be the centre of attention (I still have memories as a young child when strangers would run up to my parents and exclaim “Oh look at the cute little Chinese girl!”).  Before I began the coaching certification process, whenever I thought of having to stand in front of 12 athletes and explain and demo every station flawlessly, I could taste the fear in the back of my throat.  But when I actually began the process in January, I wasn’t as nervous or intimidated as I thought I would be.  That’s a testament to what Chris has created at WBK and the fact that I wholeheartedly believe in what the training does for the mind, body and soul.  From the start coaching felt natural and I was fortunate to have Chris, Leanne, Kent and Brent as my mentors.  I was especially thankful to have Leanne to learn from as she was the only female coach at WBK and it was important to know exactly what to expect from that perspective.  So I listened and learned and absorbed as much as I could while observing the other coaches.  I marveled at how easy and seamless they made coaching appear but I also knew the truth of it.  It’s not as easy as it looks however as I put in my reps and gained more confidence in my abilities, the easier it became.

I’m still developing my own coaching style; I tend to put forth my serious side but every once in awhile my quirky sense of humour emerges.  I’m becoming much more comfortable in adding my own flare in the demos and announcements, which I attribute to Kent’s great example.  My biggest challenge is not being so critical of my mistakes, in other words to stop being so tough on myself!  As a coach and Level 7 athlete I feel it’s my responsibility to lead by example in every class I train thus I set the bar high in all that I do.  The Sparta evaluation we coaches undergo at the end of every round is an especially difficult mental and physical test that I am proud to say I have thus far persevered through!  I look forward to it each round, not only because it promotes healthy competition between the coaches, but also I have the opportunity to improve my skills, endurance, and mental strength round after round!

I absolutely love coaching for many reasons; the interaction with the athletes is stimulating and fun, helping them reach their personal goals is rewarding, and I feel that what I’m doing on that gallery matters.  I would have to say the biggest driving force for me as a coach is that I see myself in every rookie that walks up the stairs, through that door, and onto the gallery.  I see the intimidated, lost girl from six years ago who couldn’t skip for two straight minutes and who has since come so far to find purpose and passion in an unlikely place.  I see the potential to become a WBK athlete in all rookies, regardless of age, gender, background, and physical condition. 

Coaching the youth class on Saturdays is my newest challenge and connecting with teenagers is no easy task but I’m learning as I go.  I remember what an awkward and confusing age that was thus it’s rewarding to be able to make whatever small difference I can in their lives.  They all seem to enjoy the training and get as much out of it as their adult counterparts.  If they leave the gym seeming more confident and happier, then I can say I’ve done my job as their coach!  One week I coached one young boy by himself as he was the only one who showed up for class.  This boy had rarely ever smiled before but his confidence seemed to grow with each station as I gave him feedback, direction and praise.  I asked him if he had told his friends he was boxing; the way he said “yeah” and the smile on his face spoke volumes and made my day.  At the end of the punch out, which he did with incredible energy, he looked taller and more self-assured.  Experiences like this make me appreciate this tough road I’ve taken.  I feel very blessed and fortunate that I ended up here and that I’ve met such wonderful, amazing and interesting people at WBK.  This tough road has made me the athlete, the Spartan, the coach, and the person I am today!

I fell in love with coaching from the start and I know I’ll continue to love it as much as I still love the training.  As a coach I even get butterflies in the stomach during Week 1 but those are mostly due to the excitement of meeting the rookies for the first time!  I always strive to present the right impression of WBK, of our training, of our coaches, of our philosophy.  Yeah, it’s tough, it might be the toughest thing a rookie will have to face yet, but it’s a different kind of tough.  The kind of tough you get addicted to and want to face again and again and again.