Dana Weissbach, December, 2005, vol. 1, no. 3

Life isn’t easy. Then again, I’m not sure that it’s supposed to be easy. If everything came easily for us, we wouldn’t be able to recognize or appreciate the good times. It takes black to know white, right? What if all the crap is really just fertilizer for future growth?

If Life is, by nature, challenging, what can we do to get ourselves through the inevitable rough patches?

How do you cope with life’s stresses?

What if we learned to develop good coping skills and had healthy outlets to vent our frustrations and negative emotions (anger, fear, sadness, etc…) rather than abuse substances (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes)? Abusing substances provides temporary relief, but in the end takes a toll on our body, our mind and our spirit.

What if we could heal our mind AND body and keep them BOTH fit at the same time?

In working your body, you can heal your mind. This Body-Mind concept is not new, but it’s one that is not reinforced enough in our society. The Ancient Greeks knew it; Healthy Body, Sound Mind. I believe the two are inseparable. For example, when you feel sick (stomach ache), you’re usually downbeat. When you’re in a bad mood, your head often aches.

Issues surrounding ‘The Mind’, specifically mental illness have plagued me my entire life. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to escape or deny the powerful Body-Mind-Spirit connection.

Let me explain how I’ve learned to not only survive, but thrive…

From a very young age I enjoyed the sensation of moving my body. I grew up in a log home, nestled on 25 acres of forestland. We burned wood for fuel. I remember being 2 years old and helping my father split & pile wood. I loved it. The whole process: going out to the woods to cut down the trees, the smell of earth and wood, picking up the sticks and moving my body around. When I reflect now, it seems that I innately understood the meditative effect physical activity had on me.

On New Year’s Day 1989, my parents split up. I was 14. A year & a half later the log home was sold. My brothers & I moved to a city with my mother. My family life was gone. My log home and land were gone. I was forced to switch high schools leaving my best friends behind. Life as I knew it, had changed. It wasn’t easy.

What seemed to make matters worse was the fact that my mother suffers from mental illness. Because of her illness, things were unpredictable at home. I never really knew who or what to expect when I walked through the door. Having a mentally ill parent was very embarrassing. The stigma that surrounds mental illness today was worse back then. Even within my own family, the subject was ‘taboo.’

How did I cope? I did what most misguided teenagers do: I drank. From ages 14-19, I drank heavily. I still managed to play sports (ringette, Tae Kwon Do, soccer, touch football, volleyball, track & field, field hockey, down hill skiing and lifeguarding competitions) but I was consistently inconsistent and my main priority was to be numb. Getting drunk enabled me to do that, to escape the pain of my parent’s divorce and my mother’s illness.

By the fall of 1993, I was feeling depressed – I was 19. My energy was low, my mood was dark. I slept most days. I was angry; at myself, at everyone and everything. Summoning up the energy to exercise became increasingly difficult. I was not in good shape – physically, mentally or spiritually.

Have you ever felt this way?

I knew I was miserable, but I didn’t know how to stop the cycle of booze, anger and sadness. So I continued on this path for another 5 years (1993-1998).

In 1998, during my fourth year of university, I enrolled in Professor Sean Egan’s ‘Physical Activity & Wellness Course’ at the University of Ottawa. I was sitting there, half asleep, expecting to learn more about ‘The Body’ (anatomy, physiology, biomechanics, etc…) when Sean began to talk about the therapeutic effects that physical activity had on ‘The Mind.’ Sean emphasized the psychological & ‘feel-good’ benefits of physical exercise: increased energy, increased endorphin release – which leads to enhanced mood and decreased stress including anger, anxiety and depression. He taught us that physical activity could be used to help one develop & maintain a healthy ‘MINDSTYLE’ – a more positive outlook on life.

In dealing with my mother’s illness, all I had ever heard about were pills and talk-therapy; exercise was never mentioned. The concept of physical movement effecting mind & enhancing well-being was new to me. I found it fascinating. This Body-Mind approach appealed to me so much I often followed Sean back to his office, probbing for more information.

Sean encouraged me to establish a regular training routine, to try to do something active everyday. But more than anything, Sean spent a lot of time talking to me about ‘responsibility’. Self-Responsibility. He’d say to me: “No one is going to fix your life for you, Dana. Only you can fix it.” At first, I wasn’t too enthusiastic to hear this. After all, I had little to no energy. I wanted someone to come and fix my life and move my body for me. This would’ve been a lot easier! However, I slowly began to accept that the only person who was going to rescue me from my life, was me.

So during the winter of 1998, I started jogging and doing my pushups again. After a few weeks, I added some skipping. What I remember most about these workouts is that I didn’t look better immediately, but I felt better instantly. With each workout this notion of ‘Self-Responsibility’ sank in deeper and deeper. To my surprise and delight, it seemed that the more responsibility I took for my lot in life, the more empowered I felt. The more empowered I felt, the stronger I became; physically, mentally and emotionally.

My group project for Sean’s course was to observe an Exercise Therapy Program for the Homeless & Mentally Ill at the Shepherd’s of Good Hope. We were to assess the amount of ‘wellness’ or ‘lack of wellness’ in their lives and whether this program was having any beneficial effects. The program offered various recreational and exercise activities including: swimming, basketball, weight training, floor hockey, billiards, boxing and visiting art galleries. This program was developed and run by some guy named ‘Chris Weissbach’. Chris had consulted with Sean over the past year regarding research on the Body-Mind connection, specifically exercise and how it could help those with mental illness.

Within minutes of arriving at the shelter, Chris loaded me into a van with a bunch of ‘Street People’ and we headed off to the local bowling alley. Hanging out and bowling with this particular group made for a very interesting and colorful afternoon. One of the things that stood out was the change in their behaviour; their attitude on the return trip was noticeably lighter, happier and more joyful.

While working on this project, I shared with Chris that I had struggled with my mother’s illness. Within a few months we began dating. The rest is history, as they say.

In addition to running the Shepherd’s program, Chris was also teaching boxing at the City of Ottawa’s Champagne Fitness Centre. I decided to try one of his classes. I loved it. This was MY KIND OF WORKOUT; athletic and tough! As I finished school the following year, I studied ‘The Effects of Exercise on Depression’ (Sean Egan was my 4 th Year Research Project Supervisor/Mentor) and continued punching bags and skipping twice a week. In the meantime, Chris & I talked about developing a unique boxing training conditioning system and school.

One of the things I learned in school, is that the human body is largely made up of water between 75-90%. If water (your body) doesn’t flow it becomes stagnant (depressed mood, anxiety, sickness, etc…). A flowing river (a body in motion) never becomes stagnant – the channels remain clean & clear.

In 31 years I’ve been awfully hard on my body, but this I know for sure: everyday I need to move my body, to free my mind, to uplift my spirit. Unfortunately, there’s been a price to pay for being hard on my body. In 2000 my left shoulder began bothering me. Despite trying many rehabilitative modalities, I had to stop my boxing training and teaching/coaching in the fall of 2002. Finally, as a last resort I underwent shoulder surgery this past summer (2005). Currently I am again under-going rehabilitation. This injury has been extremely frustrating, but I remain positive and am determined to return to boxing and intense physical training.

I know what works best for me. I LOVE breaking a sweat. I LOVE the stress relief that comes from hitting the bags. I LOVE the sound of leather on leather. I LOVE connecting with my breath. I LOVE feeling my muscles throb as they work and I LOVE the self-confidence that comes from knowing how to throw a good punch!

Some people can calm their minds by sitting on cushions and meditating. Not me. I’ve got a really over-active mind. I need to engage in rhythmical movements. I need to hit things to calm my mind! For me, boxing is a need, not a frill.

Physical exertion, including boxing training, doesn’t make my troubles go away but it helps me feel better. Feeling better allows me to look at problems from a fresh perspective. The real reason I move my body is to access & open my mind. The physical attributes associated with exercise are bonus ‘side-effects’, but they’re not the main reason I move.

My MINDSTYLE has shifted from one of negativity to one of optimism and acceptance. Life is challenging. Everyone struggles at times. If we choose, these challenges can be used as spring boards to catapult us forward. It takes manure to ‘make magic’.

I changed. You can change too. Believe it can happen and know that Boxing leads to Better Living.

Bring on the manure!
Dana Weissbach

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